Free Will

i go back and forth on the subject of free will. i can’t figure it out. i usually lean in the direction of no free will. i say everything has already happened, and the present is the constant discovery of what happens next. if one were to be able to travel through time, you would be limited to your experience. if you went back in time you would be a child. and if you went forward you would be the same person but older, etc. just makes sense to me.

anyway so i’m watching this David Wilcock video from Project Camelot called Road to Ascension and he’s talking about how he got to spend quite a bit of time getting to know the black ops guys involved in the Disclosure Project. so they talk about all kinds of crazy shit including this thing in Montauk that apprently opens wormholes or something. they used it to travel to different places and stuff and one of the things they figured out they could do was travel through time. and what they found out was that time is like everything else in nature. that if you fuck it up, it will heal. the universe has a natural tendency toward advancement, and healing. they found out that if you travel back in time, you appear as you were, but you rapidly start adjusting to the age you’re sposed to be in that time period. wacky shit!

but it gets wackier! they found out that there’s this 20 year cycle that is inherent in the earth where there’s this wave that they can chart points in time on. and the wave flatlines in 2012. and what happens when they try to travel to it is the most amazing thing. they say you become omnipotent and omniscient. you can be a star or a planet or an atom or molecule and be anywhere and do anything and know anything and understand everything. they call the experience “the bump” or the “full out”. they loved it. and they had the hardest time recreating the experience. i’m not done watching this video yet. i stopped it because i have to talk about this bump.

about ten years ago back when hale bopp was in the sky and the mothership was hovering over Phoenix, that very weekend i was at a rave in san antonio called A Return to the Inner Sense. DB from breakbeat science nyc was headliner. Jackie Specht from Austin was playing too. i lost my shit at this party. i thought there was a mothership overhead that was going to take us all with it. i got panicky and started running around telling all my friends to get everyone they loved because we were about to go. it freaked them out. my friend Sean remembers that night real well and can tell the story better than me. maybe he’ll type it up one day. anyway, it culminated in me causing a huge scene involving cops lifting me up off the ground, each holding one of my limbs, and i got free, and ran out down the street, and experienced this exact “bump” wilcock is describing. it started off interlaced with my present and my ego and it was weird and distorted but i was able to understand the numerical value of everything in the universe and i kept mumbling numbers and saying “how many times can i win how many times can i win!”. eventually i slipped completely out of this reality and was zipping around the universe, knowing that all is one, we’re all God, time is an illusion, I’ve been reincarnating for a long time, and all kinds of other wacky shit that made perfect sense at the time. its been a huge struggle to hang on to as much as i can. its like remembering dreams. usually by the afternoon, they’re completely gone. i’ve been wondering this whole time what the fuck happened to me, but according to black ops guys from the disclosure project, what appears to have happened is that space aliens showed me what 2012 gwarn be like!

boooyakasha